christmas thoughts

HAPPY HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!!  i am so blest to see so much family in one day!  the highlight of my day was watching my 16 month old nephew open gifts. although he doesn't yet understand the concept of unwrapping gifts, he sure did like what was inside. he would open a book and want to read it immediately. we joked that out of all his fancy gifts, he loved the matchbox cars the best-- simple, inexpensive, classic toys.

i also exchanged emails with a dear friend today about the Dec. 24 reading from My Utmost for His Highest. one specific line from it was, "The most dangerous and unsure thing is to try to live without God."   it reminded me that God is with me (Immanuel) and was a refreshing devotion to take in this morning. my friend's response was spot on: "It is Christmas and I am lost in presents and video games and movies and noise and I need Jesus to fill me. He is the only stable, sure, worthwhile thing there is."

my nephew was a picture of how i ought to be not only on Christmas, but every day. my focus should be first and foremost on Christ. nothing else will fill me or offer me the security like my Heavenly Father. i leave you with an excerpt from the aforementioned reading. 

It is virtually impossible to doubt when He is there. Every time you are in personal contact with Jesus, His words are real to you. “My peace I give to you . . .” (John 14:27)— a peace which brings an unconstrained confidence and covers you completely, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. “. . . your life is hidden with Christ in God,” and the peace of Jesus Christ that cannot be disturbed has been imparted to you.

new specs!

hi there! most of my time & energy is spent on the painting a day blog, and so this one is getting a bit neglected.

since this is my personal one, i feel the freedom to post a photo of my new glasses. they make me feel smart and comfortable.

"have you painted recently?"

well, yes, i've been working on a little project. as mentioned in the post below, i started painting something new & it should last a year! so, to all my friends & family who have been asking, "Have you painted recently?" for the past 2 years, this is for you! i can now answer honestly. and i'm starting to feel less & less that my art degree has gone to waste!

since my newpaintingaday blog is a forum for that specific project, i thought i'd post a recent painting here. i haven't painted with oils since 2007, so i decided to pick them up. i finished this before i began the 365-day project. it's a (very unfinished) self-portrait. maybe one day i'll finish it. :)

30x18" oil on MDF.

a painting a day

just a heads-up to my followers, i am beginning a new project (& blog to accompany it).

hope you enjoy!

love,
tiff

flavors.me!

hi folks,

check out my temporary design "website" until the fully customized one gets up & running.

http://flavors.me/tiffanys

name change

I recently changed my blog's name from "MI VIDA LOCA" to "mabel's couch." Not only was it time for a little change, but "mabel's couch" signifies much more to me.

Mabel was an old family friend who passed away a few years ago. Upon her death, I "inherited" her couches. Really, I was the only one who wanted them. You see, they're seafoam green and old, retro style, with a very synthetic material covering them. And for some reason, i LOVE them. I think they're beautiful. They have these wide, flat armrests that can hold drinks and plates and bowls and books. Also, the couch also doubles as a bed- which, of course, is useful.

Back to the blog-- since I spend most of my time reading, writing, & generally living on this seafoam sofa, I figured it would be a good name change.

"I got a lot of poop in my pants"

You would think I'd post more stories from 3 months of nannying, but I usually share them so don't feel the need to write them.

There are several gospel moments during my day with 3 kiddos. One particular day, a little one had an accident in his pants (which unfortunately isn't uncommon). He came up to me and reported, "I got a lot of poop in my pants." Sometimes, I am very good at keeping straight faces at moments like these, but I couldn't control myself this time... and burst into laughter.

As I was cleaning up the situation [insert Jersey Shore joke here], I couldn't help but think how innocent and sweet it was that he told me about his accident. He told me immediately, directly, plainly, and trusted that I knew what to do to clean him up.

How often do I do that with God? I usually do not immediately tell the Lord when I mess up, trusting that He is both good to forgive and great to change me.

At that time Jesus said, "I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants."
Matthew 11:25

reconciled

17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. 21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, 23 if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven...

Colossians 1:12-29

Mirriam-Webster defines reconcile as
"to restore to friendship or harmony" or
"to cause to submit to or accept something unpleasant."

Both these definitions really describe my past year. In retrospect, I think my 25th year of life has been pretty easy and pleasant. Friendships have evolved, like usual, but there have been two key friendships that have changed and continue to be sanctifying relationships.

We'll call the first friend "Sally." She and I have known one another for almost 5 years I guess. We learned about the Lord together and have many mutual friends. However, there was always an unidentifiable wedge in our friendship; something was missing. Once we began becoming closer friends is when I began to get hurt by her. At first it was something petty like not being invited into a small Bible study she started. Upon confronting Sally about this matter, she said that there wasn't room for me. Rejection... by one of my best friends. I dismissed this and pushed Sally back a few more feet from my heart. Another thing happened where I realized she hadn't told me the entire truth and just didn't care. Then, a few other painful times when she consistently chose her relationships with guys over me. Ouch... rejection again. And, over several years, I noticed a pattern in Sally's life of unintentionally hurting friends. After many confrontations, nothing changed in her life.... so I forgave her for the hurt she had caused me, and chose to "accept something unpleasant," and just surrender this relationship to the Lord.

The second story is about a guy named "Jack." We used to be really good friends. Then, after a series of events, our friendship went downhill really quickly and ended abruptly... and I was treated pretty poorly afterward. After that, we tried to make amends, but not much changed. Then, several years later, what seemed like all of a sudden, Jack contacted me and sincerely apologized for being mean. After having given up on our relationship completely, I feel as if God gifted me with it once again. The Lord, Creator of the Universe and the One who lives inside of me, continues to enlarge my heart and increase my faith. Lord-willing, this relationship with Jack is being restored to friendship, despite all the past hurt and painful memories.

The beauty in these two stories is that neither is perfect. Yes, there are glimpses of glory in each of them, but they are nothing like our Holy God reconciling us to Himself. Jesus came in order to make us holy and pure before God. Jesus made peace with God for us through dying on the cross. He submitted to that which was unpleasant to restore the harmony between the Creation and the Creator that was present before the Fall.

I continue to choose to remember that the Lord is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

Be encouraged, my friends, relationships can be restored on this side of heaven... our prime example is our reconciliation with the Faithful One! Continue to pray, don't lose heart, persevere, fight the good fight.

(Another good passage to read: Joshua 1.)

blinded & burdened

i realized recently that most of my posts are a little on the heavy side. i'm not the type of blogger who has witty and clever stories to write, nor do i have funny life stories to share with you. i have what is bouncing around in my mind and my heart, dying for a place to land... and that place just so happens to be this blog. so, take it for what it is-- and for what it isn't.


Lately, the Lord has been moving in quite uncomfortable ways in me. (I'm not sure if you can relate, but since the Lord lives in me, I feel like sometimes He makes His presence more known than at other times-- maybe like a little fetus kicking my ribs, but I don't know too much about all that!) Anyways, it seems like He is pushing my heart up closer to my eyes and then back into my brain. Know that feeling? Yeah, it's painful.

My worldview is constantly changing-- and much more quickly in the past year and a half post-graduation. Allow me to explain this: My view of the world and its suffering is broadening. I know it's the work of the Holy Spirit, but I'm not sure I can attribute this change to specific events or blinding lights on the road to Damascus. Instead, it has been walking blindly every day. What has this looked like for me? Trust in God for "micro" things: jobs, money, mending of relationships. And to trust in God for "macro" things: repair Haiti, repair Chile, repair Afghanistan... that the One who created the universe has a plan for this broken shell of a girl living in Charlotte and a plan for the depravity, homelessness, poverty, disease, war, sex trafficking, and general brokenness of humankind around the world.

I'm not at all sure where God will take me, how He plans on using me, or why He even cares (some days)... but I am so thankful to be His and will continue to struggle through what it means to be a holy & beautiful daughter in the sight of my Loving Father.

a prayer for the broken hearted

dedicated to family and friends of Aimee Powell, a sweet girl now resting in the arms of our Heavenly Father.

(an Indelible Grace song sung by Chelsey Scott)

A Prayer for the Broken Hearted

No day in my life has past
That hasn't proved me guilty;
Prayers are uttered too fast
From a heart that's cold and empty.

Oh blessed Jesus,
May we find a covert in Thy wounds;
Though our sins, they rise to meet us,
How they fall next to the merits of you.

Oh, all in me calls for this,
It calls for my rejection;
This heavy unrighteousness,
Oh, is there no protection?

My best services are rags;
My best deeds are filthy.

Grant me hear Thy shoring voice,
That in Thy wounds is pardon;
Grant me see Thy willing choice
To make my hard heart softened.

Keep the broken-hearted sure,
Clinging to Thy cross, our cure.

Oh blessed Jesus,
May we find a covert in Thy wounds;
Though our sins, they rise to meet us,
How they fall next to the merits of you.